Monday, May 30, 2016

Wichita Bar Blog Intro

Welcome to the Wichita Bar Blog with Barry, Boozer and Dick!

Intro: We are three guys that like to go out in Wichita for drinking, picking up chicks and generally entertaining each other by being assholes.  While other people may not think we’re awesome, we know we’re the coolest motherfuckers in town.

Concept: We’ve been to most of the bars in Wichita.  Most of them are great and a few suck donkey dick.  We're gonna start going to all of them, in alphabetical order, and then letting you know what we think of them.  It’s possible we won’t remember what the hell went on so, in that case, we’ll just make the shit up.  We’re also gonna put ads on this website because Boozer got a DUI last month and he’s got less jack than a deck of cards.

Who are we?

Barry: Originally from upstate New York and moved to Wichita for a job 8 years ago.  He’s the most cultured of the group as well as being the most well-traveled, including with the ladies.  His main goal every night is to go home with the best available option, and when there isn’t a good option he’ll go home with just about anything.

Boozer: Nicest guy you'll ever meet.  Grew up here in Wichita and knows most of the bartenders in town.  Probably an alcoholic.  Was married and divorced twice but says he’s only really loved two things: his black lab Jackson and the feeling he gets after 14 beers.  He can’t drive a car until March 2017 and is thinking about creating another website that rates all the Uber drivers in town.

Dick: He moved to Wichita 5 years ago after living in various places in Texas all his life.  He gets us in trouble way too often and got stabbed one night in the parking lot of a Waffle House in Arkansas.  Everyone in the bar loves Boozer and by the end of the night everyone in the bar hates Dick – and that makes us laugh.

Our friends

Wichitaco: We think he came here from Mexico but we really don’t care.  We like to hang around with him because he knows the best places to go that we would never think of.  He also makes a helluva burrito at 3am.

Wheels: The only girl we regularly hang out with, she’s the Elaine of our group, not only because she’s the only girl but because she’s a big slut.

Cooter King: Boozer’s older brother.  If you think Barry is the biggest man-whore in Wichita then you’ve never met Cooter King.  Now in his 50s he claims to have slept with over a thousand women and gets shots of penicillin weekly.

Brody: Honestly we don’t like Brody.  But he makes a shit ton of money and always pays for our drinks. He also usually knows hot girls and will bring them around when he’s trying to act like a total douchebag.

Cowboy: We don’t like Brody but we absolutely fucking hate Cowboy. He always looks like he just got off a tractor in the wheat fields but actually took 3 hours to get ready.  Sings the worst slow ass country songs at karaoke because he thinks it’ll make him look sensitive.  But he always buy us shots so that’s why we tolerate his fake shit.

The bars

Through the powers of the Internet this list includes anywhere that might possibly serve alcohol or is some kind of nightspot/bar.  There are probably places we are missing so email us at wichitabarblog@gmail.com to let us know what we’re missing.  Follow us on Twitter for even more entertainment on a daily basis @WichitaBarBlog

Bigs
Bill and Mary's
Blarney Stone Pub
Blu Nightclub
Bogey's
Bottle Opener
Bourbon Street Sports Bar and Grill
Brickyard
Bubba's 33
Buck's Bar and Grill
Buffalo Wild Wings
Burn Out Bar and Grill
Caboose Bar and Grill
Caeser's Palace
Candle Club
Carrie-B's
Casey's Bar and Grill
C-Bar
Champs Bar and Grill
Chester's Chophouse and Wine Bar
Chili's
Club Billiards
Club Boomerang
Club Rodeo
Cottillion, The
Cottonwood Bar
Cowboy Inn LLC
Cowtown Burger and Brew
Cross Eyed Cricket Tavern
Crossroads Bar and Grill
Crows Nest
Deano's Grill and Tapworks
District Taqueria
Doobley's
Douley's Billiards and Sports Bar
Driftwood Lounge
Dudley's Irish Pub
Dusti's Place
El Matador Lounge
Elbow Room, The
Emerson Biggin's
Ernie Biggs
Fieldhouse
Firebirds Wood Fired Grill
Fireside Lounge
Fork and Fennel
Fox and Hound
Frosty Mug's
Full Moon Pub
Gianna Bacci's
Granite City
Green Derby
Green Mill Restaurant and Bar
Harry's Uptown
Headshots
Heat Bar and Grill
Heat Cigar and Hookah Lounge
Heroes Sports Bar and Grill
Hill, The
Hony Tonk BBQ
Hooters
Hopping Gnome Brewery
Humidor Number One, The
Hungry Heart, The
Indigo Lounge
J Lounge
J&K Billiards
Jerry's Bar and Grill
Jersey's Grill and Bar
Jezebel's
Joe's Oldtown
John Barleycorn's
JRs Arena
Kansas Star Casino
KC's Too Bar and Grill
Keen Kutter Piano Bar
Keg Bar and Grill
Kirby's Beer Store
Landing Bar, The
Larry Bud's
Little Bear Sports Bar
Little Buster's Sports Bar and Grill
Live at 215
Lizard Lounge
Loft 150
Lola's Sports Bar and Grill
Looney Bin, The
Lounge Lizzards
Lou's Chacuteria and Cocktails
Lucky's Everyday
Madrocks
Magoos Bar and Grill
Margarita's
Mick's Bar and Grill
Monarch Bar and Grill, The
Morts Martini and Cigar Bar
Mulligan's Pub
Night Owl
Oasis Lounge
O'Briens Irish Pub
Oeno Wine Bar
Old Chicago
Oliver J's
O'Malley's Irish Pub
Other Place
Pandora Night Club
Party Bus
Paula's Bar and Grill
Place, The
Plaza Azul
Pleasures
Port of Wichita
Public at the Brickyard
Pumphouse
Quincy's Bar and Grill
R Friends
Rack Em Up
Rain
Revolution Lounge
Rhythm & Cues
River City Brewery
Roadhouse Blues
Rock Island Live
Rocky's Bar
RT's Alibi
Rumors
Sabor Latin Bar and Grill
Samuel Brewskies
Seneca St Bar and Grill
Shamrock Lounge
Shesha
Shop, The
Side Pockets
Side Street
Siena Tuscan Steakhouse
Signatures Lounge
Snug Harbor
Southrock Billiards
Spaulding's Food and Drink
Spirits Pub
Spotlite 2
Stadium Sports Bar
Stepps Cocktails and Ales
Stix
Stop, The
Store, The
Stroud's Restaurant and Bar
Timbuktu Bar and Grill
Todd Brian's Brick Street Café and Tavern
Tropics Lounge, The
Twelve Restaurant and Bar
Twin Peaks
Vagabond, The
Walt's
Warren 13th
Warren Downtown
West Street Bar
Whiskey Dick's
Wichita Brewing Company
Wine Dive
Yvie's Bar and Grill
3 Strikes Sports Bar
40 Plus Lounge

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