WBB Tour: BC's Bar & Grill

If this is your first time coming to the site, you will probably want to read our intro so you are aware of what a bunch of dumbasses we are … INTRO

 

Bar #7 – BC’s Bar & Grill

Address – 4423 S Broadway, Wichita

Category – Dive bar

Barry:  None of us had ever been to this bar on South Broadway before so we decided to take our Mexican friend Wichitaco just in case.  Turns out he was the only Hispanic at the bar.

Boozer:  I love when Wichitaco comes with us.  He’s the only one that can hang with me on tequila shots.

Dick:  Wichi – fuckin – taco.

Wichitaco:  I hate you white pieces of shit.  You really thought BC’s was going to be some Latino hangout?  It’s one of the most redneck places I’ve ever been!

Barry:  To be fair, Dick kept saying BC’s stood for Big Cocks so it could’ve been a place where black people hang out.  And you’re the closest thing to a black friend we have.

Wichitaco:  What a bunch of ignorant sonofabitches you are.

Boozer:  I liked BC’s a lot.  I met a guy who brought in QuikTrip donuts and ate them while drinking his beer and picking out tunes on the jukebox like Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson.  My kind of guy.

Dick:  This place was just ok.  I had to wait 15 minutes for a drink because the waitress was outside smoking. On the other hand once she came back she kept my glass filled and I got pretty fucked up.

Barry:  Yeah she was cool although I think that song “Rockin the beer gut” was written for her.

Boozer:  Hey be nice, I have a beer gut too.  More cushion for the pushin right?

Wichitaco:  What a bunch of stupid motherfuckers you are.

Barry:  Ok final grade.  I hear they have karaoke on the weekends and I didn’t get any infectious diseases from the bathroom.  Zero attractive ladies, however.  I give it an average score.

Boozer:  Thumbs up for me.  The three pool tables are an added plus.  And I got wasted on tequila shots with Wichitaco.

Wichitaco:  Sorry about that Boozer.  Even though you retards thought this was some kind of minority bar, I still had a good time.  But my favorite part of the night was getting a burrito afterwards at El Mexican Burritos.

Dick:  Yeah that’s not stereotypical.  I say the next bar we build a Trump wall outside so Wichitaco can’t get in.

Wichitaco:  Fuck you guys.

BC’s Ratings:

Chances of …

… Barry getting laid by a frequent customer: 21%

… Barry getting caught flirting with an underage waitress: 9%

… Boozer maxing out his credit card on overpriced drinks: 36%

… Boozer getting a DUI after leaving: 79%

… Dick getting his ass kicked by a local: 54%

… Dick making multiple comments about if BC stands for Big Cocks: 89%

Bar Rankings so far …

1. The Anchor

2. Annex Lounge

3. The Artichoke Sandwich Bar

4. BC’s Bar and Grill

5. Barron’s Bar and Grill

6. AJ’s Sports Grill

7. Applebee’s

Next Bar:  Bigs

WBB Tour: Barron's Bar & Grill

If this is your first time coming to the site, you will probably want to read our intro so you are aware of what a bunch of dumbasses we are … INTRO

Bar #6 – Barron’s Bar & Grill

Address – 2508 S Oliver, Wichita

Category – Dive bar

Barry:  Barron’s is kind of tucked away on Oliver Street but if you can find it, it won’t disappoint. 

Boozer:  My kind of bar. Cheap drinks, jukebox playin’ country music and a cute waitress who would never look at me – but I can look at her.

Dick:  This place is ok. It’s way better than fucking Applebee’s. Still can’t believe we went drinking there.

Barry:  So I tried to talk to the waitress but she had a “boyfriend”. I give her credit though, she was still pretty nice.  I think her boyfriend was on the other side of the bar making sure she didn’t get too friendly.

Dick:  What an asshole.

Boozer:  It doesn’t take much to make a good bar.  Cheap drinks, a jukebox, hot bartender, a video game and a pool table.  Barron’s has it all.

Barry:  True it has all that, except when you have a hot waitress all you get is 95% dudes.

Dick:  Well since Boozer never gets laid that doesn’t matter much to him.

Boozer:  I can’t help it if most women don’t find a guy attractive that drinks every night, has a DUI and doesn’t generally give a shit about life.

Barry:  What’s the final grade boys? I say it’s pretty good for drinkin’, not so good for meeting your future ex-wife.

Boozer:  Wives aren’t good for my late night returns home from bars like this.

Dick:  What do you call a women who has lost 90% of her intelligence?  Divorced.

Barry:  I’ll take that as a positive for Barron’s.  And you guys really need to get laid.

Barron’s Ratings:

Chances of …

… Barry getting laid by a frequent customer: 38%

… Barry getting caught flirting with an underage waitress: 69%

… Boozer maxing out his credit card on overpriced drinks: 16%

… Boozer getting a DUI after leaving: 42%

… Dick picking a fight with the waitress’s boyfriend: 91%

Bar Rankings so far …

1. The Anchor

2. Annex Lounge

3. The Artichoke Sandwich Bar

4. Barron’s Bar and Grill

5. AJ’s Sports Grill

6. Applebee’s

Next Bar:  BC’s Bar and Grill

WBB Tour: The Artichoke Sandwich Bar

If this is your first time coming to the site, you will probably want to read our intro so you are aware of what a bunch of dumbasses we are … INTRO

A true Irish Pub in Wichita

Bar #5 – The Artichoke Sandwich Bar

Address – 811 N Broadway, Wichita

Category – ½ sandwich place, ½ Irish Pub

Barry:  The Artichoke is a very unique bar.  It’s busy at lunch because it’s known for having great food and then it’s a cool, little Irish Pub in the evenings, with local music on the weekends.  One of its weaknesses is the location on North Broadway but it’s worth the short jaunt.

Boozer:  I love the Irish.  Did you guys know I’m part Irish?

Barry:  What part?

Boozer:  My liver.

Dick:  Asshole, I’ve actually been to Ireland.  Pretty cool place except they speak English too fast and have that pikey accent that you can’t get a word in edgewise without looking like an idiot.

Boozer:  I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Dick: Exactly.

Barry:  Back to the Artichoke guys.  For a bar I think it’s great, I’ve never eaten there though.  The bartender we met is the owner’s son and they like to help the community from what I hear.

Dick:  Who gives a shit about that queer stuff.  Are you gonna get drunk and laid at this place or what?  That’s what we’re concerned about.

Boozer:  I definitely got drunk.  The bartender suggested we do an Irish car bomb.  Anytime the bartender is trying to get you to do shots then you know he cares.

Barry:  Yeah I definitely like this place except to speak to Dick’s point above, not a great chance to get laid.

Scabies anyone?

Dick:  Maybe your game is slipping.  I saw a couple of ladies in their 50’s with hairy legs that you could’ve taken home.

Barry:  Those are more Boozer’s type.

Boozer:  Hairy women, European style, I like it.  Because I’m part Irish.

Artichoke’s Ratings:

Chances of …

… Barry getting laid by a frequent customer: 21%

… Barry getting caught flirting with an underage waitress: 6%

… Boozer maxing out his credit card on overpriced drinks: 64%

… Boozer getting a DUI after leaving: 79%

… Dick getting his ass kicked by a local: 72% (those Irish can be feisty)

… The owner’s son convincing you to buy an Irish Car Bomb Shot: 93%

… Getting scabies from putting your hands on the stone out front that 7 million other people have: 77%

Bar Rankings so far …

1. The Anchor

2. Annex Lounge

3. The Artichoke Sandwich Bar

4. AJ’s Sports Grill

5. Applebee’s

Next Bar:  Barron’s Bar & Grill

WBB Tour: Applebee's

If this is your first time coming to the site, you will probably want to read our intro so you are aware of what a bunch of dumbasses we are … INTRO

Bar #4 – Applebee’s

Address – There are 8 Applebee’s in the Wichita vicinity. We went to the one located at 320 S. Ridge.

Category – Restaurant

Barry: Ok, so we all know Applebee’s isn’t a typical bar but we wanted this to be a complete list of bars in Wichita and, actually, Applebee’s has a decent bar (as do many other restaurant type places).  We didn’t know where to draw the line so we decided we were going to go anywhere they’re serving alcohol.  We might even show up at a few Catholic churches along the way.

Dick: Why the fuck are we at Applebee’s?

Boozer: Well it’s kind of like that Talladega Nights movie where they say, “Hey why don’t we go get kicked out of an Applebee’s?”

Dick: Yeah that’s probably what will happen if some douchebag suburbanite tries to get me to join in on a chorus of happy birthday for his 8 year old mistake of a kid.

Barry: To my surprise it appears that the Applebee’s bar has some regulars.  There’s the guy who has a DUI and the closest place to walk from his house is Applebee’s.  There’s the guy who is trying to avoid his family and watch the game.  Then there’s the 80 year old who is reading the newspaper.

Boozer: I didn’t think they even made newspapers anymore.

Dick: I don’t think so either. I think gramps is reading the Beat Street News.  Quality rag, I think Wichitaco picked one up at Mexican Burrito’s last week.

Barry: It’s weird to be drinking when little Billy’s soccer team is 10 feet away.

Boozer: Well they gotta learn someday that life ain’t all puppy dogs and ice cream. It’s mostly booze and porn.

Barry: Ok what do you guys like/dislike about drinking at Applebee’s? I like that if you go late enough the apps are cheap.  I also got a Long Island for $4.  I don’t like that there’s virtually no way to take a female home unless you just got your learner’s permit.

Boozer:  That’s never stopped you before Barry. I was surprised that I liked it so much.  Cheap drinks late and sometimes you can get birthday cake if you are nice to the bartender.

Dick: This place sucks. Get me the fuck out of here before I put a Pot Sticker in little Billy’s Riblet.

Applebee’s Ratings:

Chances of …

… Barry getting laid by a frequent customer: 32%

… Barry getting caught flirting with an underage waitress: 86%

… Boozer maxing out his credit card on overpriced drinks: 29%

… Boozer getting a DUI after leaving: 65%

… Dick getting his ass kicked by a local: 17%

… Barry ordering the entire half price apps and throwing up between two mini vans outside: 93%

… Dick getting kicked out for cussing out an 8 year old for staring at him: 89%

Bar Rankings so far …

1. The Anchor

2. Annex Lounge

3. AJ’s Sports Grill

4. Applebee’s

Next Bar:  The Artichoke Sandwich Bar

WBB Tour: Annex Lounge

If this is your first time coming to the site, you will probably want to read our intro so you are aware of what a bunch of dumbasses we are … INTRO

Bar #3 – Annex Lounge

Address – 6305 E Harry St, Wichita

Category – Dive bar

Order what you want
(as long as it's beer)

Barry: The Annex Lounge is an example of a place that more people should know about right?

Boozer: I love everything about the Annex Lounge except the fact they only serve beer.  Sometimes I’m in the mood for a Long Island Iced Tea or shots of Tequila, you know, to get warmed up.

Dick: The Annex is ok.  I mean let’s be serious, from the outside it looks like somewhere that is cooking up meth.

Barry: Dick is right but that’s the beauty of the dive bar.  It scares away pussies like your boy Brody.  Once you get inside the people are cool.  They’ve got a pool table, shuffleboard and even Miss Pac Man.  Although the one downer is Miss Pac Man was the best looking girl in the bar.

Dick: Brody is YOUR boy.  And why’s it called “Miss Pac Man” instead of “Pac Woman?”

Boozer: I think it came out before all these feminists had power.  Ahh the good ole days when men were men and women listened to our dumb asses.

The classic Miss Pac Man

Dick: Those bitches. I bet if that game came out today it would also be a racially diverse, transgendered Pac ….. Thing.

Barry: Ok back to the Annex Lounge.  Besides there not being anyone to hit on, I give it a positive.  What’s the verdict for you guys?

Boozer: Awesome dive bar.  They also make a mean Inside Out Burger, cheap as hell and a 40% chance you will have a heart attack, but I say it’s worth the risk.

Dick: The only reason I will give this place a good rating is they gave us money for the jukebox and free rape whistles when we got there.

Boozer: I kept blowing that thing and no one came and raped me all night.

Annex Lounge’s Ratings:

Chances of …

… Barry getting laid by a frequent customer: 32%

… Barry getting caught flirting with an underage waitress: 7%

Shuffleboard - classic Wichita fun

… Boozer maxing out his credit card on overpriced drinks: 16%

… Boozer getting a DUI after leaving: 65%

… Dick getting his ass kicked by a local: 32%

… The owner of the bar giving you $10 for the jukebox: 87%

… Drinking enough BIG-ASS Beers on Special to slide down the Shuffleboard Table Headfirst: 72%

Bar Rankings so far …

1. The Anchor

2. Annex Lounge

3. AJ’s Sports Grill

Next Bar:  Applebee’s

WBB Tour: The Anchor

If this is your first time coming to the site, you will probably want to read our intro so you are aware of what a bunch of dumbasses we are … INTRO

Bar #2 – The Anchor

Address – 1109 E Douglas Ave, Wichita

Category – 1/3 restaurant, 1/3 dive bar, 1/3 arthouse

The Anchor's sign got
Barry excited

Barry:  The Anchor is a cool, little artsy bar near Old Town.  I’ve been there a few times and have enjoyed the atmosphere and the white girls with dreadlocks and tattoos.

Boozer:  It’s not my kinda place but I do enjoy the fact they have a nice selection of beers.

Dick:  Listen, the Anchor is great but why the fuck does any normal man wear skinny jeans?  Bunch of homo’s.

Barry:  I don’t agree with Dick very often but he does have a point.

Dick:  Look, unless you’re there to pick up another dude and you want to show them how tight your ass is then you should never wear skinny jeans.  Especially the guys tending bar at this place.  It’s almost as bad as wearing a fucking tank top.

Barry:  Have you all ever been with one of those artsy chicks?  Let me tell you boys … creativity is an asset in the bedroom.

Boozer:  We need more details, please, I haven’t been laid in 3 months.

Barry:  Let’s just say there was a girl with a half shaved head, handcuffs and a tattoo of a bullseye.

Boozer:  Wish I could find me a nice girl like that.

Barry:  Boozer, she was NOT nice.  I left her place limping, but in a good way.  Anyways, so what did you guys think of The Anchor?

Can we get an air
freshener in here?

Boozer:  Did you guys know that it used to be a wig shop, that’s pretty cool.  Although I don’t really fit in with those hippy fruit cakes, but they seemed nice enough.  I could see myself spending way too much money trying all the different drinks.

Dick:  Realistically, The Anchor is probably one of the better bars in Wichita but did you guys go to the bathroom while we were there?  Holy fuck!  It smelled like someone took out their cock and pissed all over the bathroom floor for 10 minutes, then came back an hour later and did it again.  I about gagged while trying to wash my hands.

Barry:  Don’t act like you washed your hands.

Dick:  Shut up or I’ll get that half shaved head girl to handcuff you to the urinal at The Anchor.

The Anchor’s Ratings:

Chances of …

… Barry getting laid by a frequent customer: 66%

… Barry getting caught flirting with an underage waitress: 20%

… Boozer maxing out his credit card on overpriced drinks: 73%

… Boozer getting a DUI after leaving: 39%

… Dick getting his ass kicked by a local: 10%

… Dick making fun of dudes in skinny jeans: 91%

… Dick throwing up in a bathroom that smells like elephant piss: 99%

Bar Rankings so far …

1. The Anchor

2. AJ’s Sports Grill

Next Bar:  Annex Lounge

WBB Tour: AJ's Sports Grill

If this is your first time coming to the Wichita Bar Blog, you will probably want to read our intro so you are aware of what a bunch of dumbasses we are … INTRO

Bar #1 – AJ’s Sports Grill
Address – 3232 N Rock, Wichita
Category – Sports Bar

Barry:  Everyone has probably been to AJ’s before. It’s part of Northrock Lanes.

Boozer:  Yeah I love this place, especially on a weeknight because I never have to wait for a beer.

Dick:  That’s because there is no one fucking there on a weeknight.

Barry:  True, the night we went there were less than 10 people including us and the workers.

Boozer:  I still got drunk and had a good time.

AJ's was dead on Wednesday
but we still generally liked it

Dick:  So did I but I threw up on the way home after eating a third of that superdome pizza and drinking a dozen beers.

Barry:  I liked that it had a lot of Shocker stuff but I hated that the only girls there were the ones bartending and waitressing.  And they were maybe an 8 … combined.

Boozer:  Love the Shocks.

Dick:  What’s with that Gregg Marshall guy?  Is it enough to make $3 million a year, does he really have to spell his name with 2 G’s at the end.  What an asshole.

Boozer:  Double G has done a lot of great things for this town, I think he does his coach’s show from this place.

Dick:  He’s still an asshole.

Barry:  You’re an asshole.

Dick:  This is true but at least I spell my name like every other DICK there’s ever been.

Barry:  Ok, ok what else did you guys like/not like about AJ’s?

Boozer:  I like to drink here and then try to bowl.  Once I had more beers than my score.  I don’t remember either number.

Dick:  Don’t ever come here on a Wednesday.

Barry:  I thought the bartender chick was very nice even though she didn’t know who AJ was.  I would do her.

Dick:  You would do her paraplegic grandmother.

Barry:  Touché.

AJ’s Sports Grill Ratings:

Chances of …

… Barry getting laid by a frequent customer: 40%

… Barry getting caught flirting with an underage waitress: 65%

… Boozer maxing out his credit card on overpriced drinks: 42%

… Boozer getting a DUI after leaving: 58%

… Dick getting his ass kicked by a local: 30%

… Dick finishing the superdome pizza without yacking: 4%

Next bar: The Anchor